11

Dear Steliospoo

You have a smelly bum!

Merry Christmas! Have a happy Christmas poo!

Bunty Bumble bum bums xxx

10

Dear Stelios,

It brings no small discomfort to inform you of my recent, and quite unpleasant, Spanish EasyAdventure. Not only was the flight delayed by almost a whole twenty five minutes, but once we finally boarded, a man with a very large red head sat in front of me and soon pushed his seat back, right into my face. It completely spoilt any enjoyment I might have had from my Maeve Binchy novel.

And is there any way to stop undesirable persons from pushing in when boarding, or indeed from travelling at all? I think that the airline could often benefit from a class-tiered seating system, but accept that this would be against its ‘no frills’ ethos. It remains, however, somewhat distressing that one must be so subjected to other people, and especially when on holiday. Perhaps priority tickets could be issued to those with the sense and forethought to arrive promptly, and leave those who do not to duly exercise their lack of consideration in a lottery, or possibly some sort of secluded combat arena.

Yours,

Bunty

P.S. Would it be possible to arrange discounted repatriation for my travellng companion, Ms Judith Pringle? I last saw her in some manner of incoherence and distress in a Toledo synagogue, arguing with a pen and ink sketch of the Aleppo Codex. I have become quite worried since I was forced to leave the town without her.